Love, Death, & A Reading Gone Bad

I always learn from every reading or spiritual encounter I have. This particular reading  taught me that not all readings go smoothly, and sometimes validation may take awhile to present itself.

A friend of mine, L, asked me if I would help a friend of hers, D, who was dealing with the death of her boyfriend. L said her friend was not doing very well, which is to be expected, but the circumstances were unique, and D really needed to see if she could get any answers.

So without too much information, I went to see D. I did know that her boyfriend had just died, but I did not know how. When I arrived at her condo, I felt a chill. When I got inside, it was worse. The energy was cold and still, the only way to describe it is, “morgue like”. D introduced herself, and I liked her right away. Other than the depression around her, I could sense that she had good energy. I was definitely not comfortable in her home, besides being cold the energy was heavy, so I asked her if I could cleanse with sage before I started the reading. I only stayed in the nook and family room. I did not go into the kitchen or the upstairs. Which, now I know was a huge mistake! I always walk through the entire home before I do a reading, but I wasn’t thinking straight, and I thought cleansing was going to help with how uncomfortable I was.

After I was done cleansing, I sat with D in the family room and asked her a few questions. That is when I learned that her boyfriend died in that condo not even a week before. Are you flipping kidding me??? That explained why I felt so uncomfortable. Now I was starting to feel sick and my chest was starting to hurt. Not only did I have a death grip on my crystal, I had to put on my tourmaline necklace for protection so I could focus. Also, D’s energy was getting anxious and I was picking up on her sadness and her desperation to get a message from her boyfriend. I then asked her if he died of a heart attack. She said he did. He died at home in their bed next to her, then she revived him and called 911, and then the paramedics got him to the hospital where he died again and they revived him, then he died again, but they could not revive him. How awful!!!

I should of left!! A little voice inside my head kept saying, “Leave now! Reschedule! It’s to soon!” But, I felt for D and her desire to have some kind of message. I wanted to help her.  Then the chills up my right side started. I had to get up and walk. ( I like to walk around when I am getting a message) I can feel a spirit standing next to me and then I see him. Remember I have no idea what D’s boyfriend looks like, there are no pictures up (at my request before I come) and she did not describe him to me.

So, I tell D that there is a man standing next to me. He is wearing some kind of sports jersey, and he is big, and before I can say anything else she cuts me off and says, “NO, NO, NO, that is not him!” I tell her he is saying it is him. She just keeps insisting that it is not. I then say that he is saying something about Disneyland. She still insists that it is not him and she starts getting mad at me.

I thought I had a hitchhiker, but he kept insisting that he was D’s boyfriend. I had to ask him to leave, they were both starting to make me mad. He stood his ground for a few seconds and I could feel his despair and frustration. I then watched him sadly walk away through the glass slider doors.

I stopped the reading. Now I was completely exhausted and frustrated! I went to gather my stuff from the nook and I glanced into the kitchen. I stopped in my tracks. The kitchen counter was covered with open wine bottles and medication bottles. I turned to D and she could see the look on my face…..I wasn’t judging, I was in shock. I had to ask, “Are you taking meds and drinking wine to try and numb the pain? And did you numb yourself for this reading?” She said she did, and then she said that is how she has been getting through the days and nights since he passed. I told her that I could not even begin to know how she was feeling, but to be careful.

I wish I would have been more observant before the reading. Goes back to that I should of walked around the entire condo before doing the reading. Being impaired changes how a person interprets the message I am giving them. D was obsessed with hearing only what she wanted, that the moment something did not make sense to her, she shut down. She wasn’t hearing it.

When I got to my car I burst into tears. I also texted my friend L and said that the reading did not go well and to please make sure that D has friends checking on her. She really shouldn’t be alone, or at least let her know that she has friends to talk to. I then drove home crying. I cried for many reasons, but the biggest was I felt like I failed D. But, I really felt that I did connect with D’s boyfriend. Sadness and frustration overwhelmed me.

That night, the same man that I had communicated with at D’s home came to me in a dream. It was the most vivid real dream: I am at a beautiful home in the mountains. The décor and lay out of the home is very clear. There is a huge long kitchen with all glass doors going down the right side of the room and the view is of a beautiful forest. At the far end of the kitchen is a large rock fire place with a long wood table and chairs in front of it. All cozy and rustic. I am standing in the room next to the long kitchen. It looks like a large family room and behind me is the hallway to the bedrooms. I am standing next to the couch near the hallway and across the room is a large TV. I am looking around taking in everything around me, then the man I communicated with at D’s is standing in front of the large TV. He is not alone.

The man has a younger male standing next to him and behind him is a female and another male. He tells me that the male next to him is his son, his only son, and he is still alive. He doesn’t tell me who the other two people are. Then all four of them look towards the kitchen. I look in the kitchen and there is D happily cooking. Then when I look back at them, they are all pointing to a vent up on the wall that is to the left of me. Then the man says, “She has to know it’s in there”….. “Tell her!”

I instantly wake up. What the heck was that? Now I was more frustrated and upset! I know this man is D’s boyfriend. It had to be.

I did not call D and tell her about my dream. I figured after what happened the night before at her condo, she wasn’t going to listen. I decided to let L be the judge of when I should tell D about my dream. The truth is that I just wanted to move on and forget the whole thing…but that wasn’t going to happen!

Months went by and because of what happened with D, I decided to take a break from my gift. No more readings or investigations for awhile. I look back now and hate that I let one bad experience get to me so deeply. I lost trust in myself to read anyone. I was second guessing myself.

A few more months went by and my friend L came over to my house. I asked her how D was doing and I was happy to hear that she was doing great. She has her moments which is to be expected, but surviving like the strong woman I knew she was. I then told L that I have not read anyone or done any investigations since I read D. She felt bad for referring me to D. I told her I still believe that I was communicating with D’s boyfriend. Then my friend said something to me that changed everything. She said, “How could it have been him, you said the man that was there was tall.” I froze, then I felt light headed.

I told my friend what I said. I never used the word tall. I said “big”, like he had wide shoulders….husky. I never described his height because D automatically started saying, “NO! NO! NO!, that’s the wrong guy.” She wouldn’t let up, she kept repeating herself. Then I described the man who I saw to L: He was short and stalky. He had brown hair and a brown goatee. Also, he was wearing a sports jersey.

After describing him to L, I asked her if she by some chance could get a picture of D’s boyfriend. Why have I not thought of this before????? L said she is friends with D on Face Book and she would she if she could find one. While she was looking for a picture, I told her that the man also mentioned Disneyland, but D shut that down right away too. That got L’s attention. She then tells me that D’s boyfriend’s only son lives close to Disneyland. Which made sense. Sometimes when spirits communicate with me they give references or symbols that I can relate to, (I love Disneyland and have an annual pass), so that it may help me get a message clearer or communicate a message clearer. The man also made sure he told me in my dream that the young male with him was his only son.

L found a picture. When she showed it to me, I burst into tears. It was the same man I communicated with at D’s condo. I was not losing my gift or my mind. Then I started to dance around like a crazy person (my running man sucks, but I didn’t care). I know it sounds odd that I was dancing and crying, but it was all out of pure joy. I was so relieved!! A HUGE weight had been lifted off my heart and mind. Months of mental crap I put myself through, gone. I was validated! I was free!!

I decided to call D and I told her everything. I even told her about the dream, which she did not understand what her boyfriend was trying to tell me. She felt terrible for what happened that night, but I told her not to think twice about it, I was just so happy she is  doing better and moving forward with her life. She did ask me to do another reading. I declined and said that I needed sometime to reconnect to my gift that I had been neglecting.

D’s Story:  D met her boyfriend online 9 months before his passing. She had never been truly in love and they fell head over heals for each other at first sight. Shortly after, he moved in with her, and upon him moving in, they started talking marriage. They proclaimed themselves soulmates and they were together everyday from the day they met. D says those 9 months were the best of life. A fairytale come true. It didn’t matter that it was only 9 months, it was a life time of love, and she is grateful everyday for the short time she got to have him in her life.












Weekend Getaway

A few years ago, some friends of ours rented a 6,000 square foot home next to The Grand Golf Club. Knowing how much my husband loves to golf, they asked us to join them and two other couples for a weekend of fun and golf. We absolutely accepted and really appreciated the invite. There was 12 of us total, 9 adults and 3 children. We all decided that we would cook dinner and hang out at the house for the two nights we would be there.

The house was gorgeous!! Everyone had rooms upstairs, but my husband and I had our own bedroom and bathroom downstairs. It was like being at a resort.

The guys golfed a lot so us ladies hung out at the restaurant at The Grand, or hung by the pool in the backyard of the house we were staying at. Of course, the subject of me being a medium came up. The two ladies that did not know about my gift, asked me tons of questions. They were fascinated and loved hearing about some of my experiences. One of the ladies was very open to it all. I could sense that she was a sensitive. She told me about some of her experiences, and I definitely knew she was sensitive.

The second night we were there, all of us ladies were in the kitchen making dinner, listening to music, and drinking wine. We were all laughing and having a great time. Then the static chills started on the right side of my body. They came on so strong and fast, that I had to walk out of the kitchen to get a grip. I could feel it was a female spirit. She made me feel giddy and excited. I went back to the kitchen and I could feel her energy swirling around me. It was really cold air, but it was swirling all over me. I walked up to my friend who is sensitive and I grabbed her arms. Her eyes went wide and she went to speak but couldn’t at first. Then she said, “Is there a spirit with you right now? I can feel the cold energy running from your body to mine.”

I told my friend that she was right, and then I started communicating with the spirit. This female spirit was beautiful. She instantly said to me, “I died an old, old lady, but I loved how I looked and felt at this age.” She looked around 60ish. Beautiful face, black hair pulled back in a low pony tail, and she was wearing a crisp white blouse tucked into a long black skirt. She was so classy and beautiful.

This female spirit then explained to me that the home we were in was her sons and she used to love to be there with her family. She had wonderful memories there and she loved cooking for the family in that beautiful kitchen. I asked her if she had a message for her loved ones, and she said, “No, nothing was left unsaid, I was just so happy to see all of you having so much fun. I love watching you cooking together in this kitchen.” Then I really had chills all over my body, I could feel her give me a huge hug and then her energy faded away.

What a beautiful experience!! Such a gracious gift from a beautiful spirit. I love that I got to share the experience with the other ladies, and they loved it. Also, the ladies witnessed how I reacted after I communicate with a spirit … It’s the best natural high in the world!!

Wrong Time, Wrong Place: Situation #3

I have been needing a new cell phone and iPAD for awhile, and have been procrastinating making an appointment, because I had a really bad experience in the past and lost all my data. All my pictures and contacts … GONE. So, this time, I made sure that all my information was backed up in that cloudy thing (iCloud), before my appointment. My husband came with me for moral support, in case I had a mental melt down in public if everything got lost again. (If you’re thinking “dramatic,” what I say to that is, I hope you never lose your pictures … vacations, family, special moments. IT SUCKS!)

We had to wait for about 15 minutes for the first available salesperson, and my nerves were on edge. Our salesperson was a young man, he told me my options, then told me to go pick out the color phone I wanted. I was sitting, so I  got up to go look at the floor samples to pick out a color for my phone. On my way back to the table, I felt off. As I went to sit down, I had to grab hold of the table because it felt like I was falling forward and then everything around me felt like it was falling. I had to hold on tight so I wouldn’t fall over. I looked at my hubby, then the salesperson, and it took me a minute to get myself together. I told them that I felt like the whole room was tilting and I was falling. My husband understood what was happening to me, but this poor young man, he was just looking at me with huge eyes.

Then the hot neck and head started. I was sweating. I couldn’t concentrate on what the young man was saying to me and I was burning up. I could feel a male presence standing behind me. I had to excuse myself and take a walk outside. I needed to get rid of this spirit, and by the time I took a walk and went back in, the spirit backed off. He was still there, but he wasn’t right up on me. As we were finishing and everything was transferring, I had the worst chills. Not on the outside, it felt like my bones were chilled. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

We left the phone store and went out to dinner. I could still feel the male presence, and the bones chills would not stop. I could see that he died from a bad fall and he was disoriented when he died. I could not see where he was or what he fell off of. I kept seeing myself falling forward, and everything around me was moving. He made me feel that his death was a horrible accident, and he was young. Gone too soon. Finally, I think he realized I could just listen to his story, but I couldn’t help him. Slowly my chills went away and he left.

This incident really bothered me. It is still bothering me. Should I have stood up at the phone store and tried to figure out who the male presence belonged to? Am I that open all of a sudden, that I am going to have all these crazy experiences every where I go now? I have to tell you, it scared me and unnerved me that I had a hard time controlling it and that I am not going to be able to keep quiet. So, when I feel that a strong presence  wants to be heard, should I take my chances and tell a total stranger that their dead loved one is with me?

These experiences are becoming a turning point for me. My battle is with myself. Do I care if someone thinks I am crazy? Or do I care more that I may just give someone closure and comfort?

Wrong Time, Wrong Place: Situation #2

For New Year’s Eve, we went out-of-town to my parent’s vacation home. My brother and sister-in-law also have a vacation home there too. I grew up going there and was excited to hang out with my family and catch up with friends that I have known for years.

My brother’s home is across the street from my parent’s home. We all hang out on their porches and friends come by to visit. It’s a time to relax, have a cocktail or a glass of wine, have appetizers, and catch-up with friends. Relaxed and not thinking of talking to spirits, usually means they will come.

I was sitting on my mom and dad’s porch enjoying my wine, when an old friend pulled up. Instantly, I get a weird, uncomfortable feeling, so I excused myself and went in the house. I waited until he went over to my brother’s house, after he has said “Hi” to my parents, before I went back outside.

I could sense that my old friend had at least 4 spirits around him. At first, I just sensed an older male, but right behind him was a female, then two other males behind her. I just kept hoping that he would stay over at my brothers. Then my brother said, “Let’s all go over and hang out at my parents.” So not only my brother, my sister-in-law, my old friend, and his girlfriend come over, but this other couple came too.

My old friend walks right up to me and says “Hi.” That is when I start getting the hot neck, and the hot head, which turned into sweating. The energy around him was so intense!! I hadn’t felt so much spirit energy like that around someone before. My friend went back to talking with the guys. I am sitting there burning up and then my lungs start to hurt. My mom could tell I am uncomfortable and that there was something wrong. I told her I was burning up and I could feel spirits. So then I look at my friend’s girlfriend and I blurt out, “I am a medium and XXXX has spirit energy around him.” Then I look around and everyone is looking at me. AWKWARD!!!! My brother says, “You sure know how to make a conversation uncomfortable.” (He said it kind of joking, but he was right.) My friend totally ignored me, but his girlfriend wanted to know more.

I tell her that I sense and older male, but he is not alone. As I am about to tell her about the female, she says that his cousin, who is a female, just committed suicide a few weeks before. Then next you know, my friend comes up to his girlfriend and says they are leaving. I apologized that I may have upset him, but of course he says I didn’t, and he would come by to visit later. They left. I felt horrible. My sister-in-law starts to tell me what happened with the cousin that committed suicide, but I told her not to tell me anything, just in case he did want to come back for a message later. I did ask how she died, because my lungs hurt and it was hard to breathe. She died of self-inflicted  asphyxiation.

I felt so bad the rest of the trip. I did see my friend one more time, but barely talked to him and I could feel he was avoiding me. His girlfriend barely said two words to me. It was awkward. I let my guard down. I felt relaxed around my family and friends, so I blurted before I thought it through. Another lesson learned!! As my hubby says, “Know your audience.”


Wrong Time, Wrong Place: Situation #1

I know I have said this before, but I sense and feel spirits more often than not. Lately, I’ve been having trouble blocking them out when I am in public. Not that there is a resolution to them visiting me, but they are experiences that I find interesting. I really have been in three situations lately that just came on so quick that the energy about knocked me over. Also, the timing sucked. I am not sure if all of a sudden my “Spidey Senses: (that is what I call it when my senses are super in tune), are heightened or my energy that attracts spirits has increased. I do know that these three incidents were different for me. The usual static electricity feeling up and down the right side of my body came after my neck and head got so hot, I was sweating.

Situation #1:  Days before Christmas Eve, I kept having this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was off or something was going to happen. I am always stressed and over busy like everyone else during the holidays, but this was different. For Christmas Eve, we were going to my in-laws. My husband’s parents know that I am a medium and his mother believes in my gift, but I don’t think his father does. That is not unusual for me. My own father and brother have issues with it … that is one of the reasons why for the time being, my blog is anonymous.

Anyways, I do not bring it up in front of the rest of my husband’s family. I am not sure if they talk about it when I am not around, but I am not very close with some of them and trust is a huge thing with me. I have to feel comfortable and feel that someone really cares about me, because my gift means a lot to me. This has nothing to do with anyone being a skeptic, because I can sense a skeptic the moment they walk into a room. Plus, if you haven’t experienced what I have, why should you believe? “Seeing is believing.”

So, the day of Christmas Eve, all is good. I got stuff ready to go, got in the car, and then on our way to my in-laws, the hot neck, hot head and sweating started. I told my husband that someone was with me, and I did not want to walk into his parent’s home feeling like this. I then tell him to slow down because I need to get rid of this spirit. Then my husband says, “But, what if it is my relative?” I then could feel that it was his grandfather, which I didn’t tell him. There was no way I was going to walk in there and start giving a message. I know it sounds stupid to someone reading this, but the family dynamic in this situation is not comfortable for me. Comfort is huge when doing any reading. Also, the acceptance of the message. I don’t want to walk into a room and say, “Hey, your dead family member road over with me …” Then silence and awkwardness would envelope the room. (I would never say it exactly like that, but you get the picture.) I don’t want other people to be uncomfortable either.

So, before I went in, I promised my husband’s grandfather that he could come visit me again and I would give my father-in-law and mother-in-law the message. Preferably, when we were alone with them. He understood. We had a wonderful evening, and I know, that all their family members that have passed were there watching with love.

The Girl

I should really have titled this story, “The First Spirit That Showed Me The Way.” This young spirit made it clear to me that I could hear her, see her, and feel her emotions. It wasn’t an easy lesson and it took time. Through her patience and persistence, I not only figured out that I could talk to spirits, but that I wasn’t losing my mind. I already knew I could sense spirits, but being able to fully communicate with them changed my life. She changed the way I felt about the spirit world and the unknown.

During or at the end of this story, some of you may have heard of the events that this post is about. I am not going to give dates, names, or exact references out of respect for the family and friends of my spirit girl. I will give her a made up name, because she does deserve more than being called, “The Girl.” I am going to call her Jess, in honor of a dear friend of mine that passed away tragically. So here it goes, this is a long and complex story that really got me started on my journey of helping people communicate with their loved ones and opening up my mind to listen to spirits that need a voice to communicate for them.

A girlfriend of mine texted me and asked if I could do a temp job answering phones for a large company in Foothill Ranch for a couple weeks. Since I worked out of my home at the time, and it was my slow time of year, I said yes. I had not done a temp job for her company before, so I figured if she was calling me, she was desperate, and it sounded fun. Something different. Meet new people. How hard could it be?

The office building was right off of the 241 Toll Road. I had driven past it hundreds of times. It was a beautiful office and everyone was very friendly. I had minimal duties, and mastered the phone system. Ok, I lied … the phone system sucked and no one ever took any of their calls. A large building full of people who, “Were not available,” or “In a Meeting.” Geez!! So, I just lied to everyone all day on the phones and got paid very well to do so. It was temporary … what did I care?

Since I had not worked an 8 hour day in a while, I would come home and pass out. All that lying to people was exhausting. Then the second week came, which was my last five days, and something changed. The energy in the main lobby where I was working felt heavier. I also kept feeling like I was being watched or like someone was standing behind me. I was definitely getting more uncomfortable and I couldn’t wait for the day to end. By the end of the week, I just wanted it to be over.

Pretty much after working that job, the energy in my master bedroom changed. I would wake up in the middle of the night and the energy in my bedroom felt chaotic. Like there were fast swirls of energy going back and forth in the room. Then it would stop. The next night, the energy almost sounded like it was whispering to me. I yelled for the energy to stop and it would. I would wake up frazzled and cranky. I would be in a fog all day. Very distracted and I could tell I was having crazy emotions that were not normal for me.

For me, I like to relieve stress or meditate by speed walking. I don’t listen to music, and I love to walk alone. Me and my thoughts. I had to push myself to get my walk in because of how tired and distracted I felt. For some reason that day, I decided to change my route. It was a longer route, and to an area I didn’t usually walk through. The change of route and the being tormented at night went on for weeks. Then finally, Jess showed herself to me.

I woke up in the middle of the night to cabinets slamming and banging on the walls. I could feel that chaotic energy swirling all over the room. This time it woke my husband up and the moment he sat up, it stopped. He got up and looked around and there was nothing there. I still was sitting up, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of the far left corner of my room. I could see what looked like a young girl with brown hair and a cream colored dress on. My husband and I both laid back down to try and go back to sleep. My husband is that lucky person who when their head hits the pillow, they go right to sleep. Not me. I laid there still going over in my mind what I thought I saw, then I felt someone standing next to the bed and I could hear what sounded like breathing. I opened my eyes and there was the young girl from the corner, standing over me. I screamed so loud and jumped on top of my husband, still screaming. I just kept pointing and screaming, but she was gone. My poor hubby, I scared the crap out of him, and he thought I had completely lost my mind.

After several nights of this, I went and talked to someone that was referred to me by a friend, that could possibly give me some advice on how to deal with this spirit. This woman’s first suggestion was to cleanse the house. I was uncomfortable with that because I really felt like this young girl really needed my help. Then she suggested to just talk to the spirit. So that is what I did.

That night, I locked myself in my bedroom, turned off all the lights, sat on the ground, closed my eyes, and spoke to her. I sat there patiently and waited. I could feel the electric chill go up the right side of my body, then I could see her, she was whispering something. I kept telling her that I couldn’t understand her, and she became more and more frantic. Her energy started swirling and I could feel she was becoming more and more agitated. I could feel her frantic energy and she was making me nauseous. I had to yell at her to stop. I told her since I couldn’t understand what she was saying, she had to find other ways to show me.

That is when she would appear more often and I could feel her with me all the time. When she would come to me at night, she would be standing at the foot of my bed, pointing towards the left side of the room. That is where the front of my house was. She would give me other signs, but they did not make sense to me until I found out who she was.

I hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in months at this point. The Girl, Jess, was taking a toll on me. I felt run down and distracted all the time. At this point, I had had enough. I had not learned how to be in control, and her feelings were taking over mine. Almost like I was being possessed. So, I called a friend of mine to come and help me cleanse the house. I couldn’t live like this anymore and it was taking a toll on my marriage.

I sat my sons down and told them that I was going to have the house cleansed. What they both said to me shocked the heck out of me. I will never forget this moment and how I felt. My younger son says, “You need to do something, there is a creepy girl that floats over your side of the bed, and she looks like the girl from the movie, The Ring.” Then my other son says, “I’ve seen her too and she is always sitting on the bench at the end of your bed with all her dark hair down in front of her face, and she is rocking back and forth.” Then he adds, “And my brother is right, she looks like that creepy chick from the movie, The Ring,”

I can’t even believe what they are saying to me!!!!! First, I am shocked at how she shows herself to them, because when I see her she is beautiful, and her hair is pulled back into a pony tail. Second, I am not going crazy and I have validation that there is a young girl in my room.  Also, it made me question if I was doing the right thing by cleansing her out. Now I really wanted answers.

The next day (the day before I am going to have the house cleansed), I was home alone, hosing down the backyard and I heard what sounded like a horrible car crash. I lived near a busy street and near the 241 Toll Road, so it wasn’t unusual to hear accidents. But, I realized after 10 minutes or so, that I did not hear any sirens. So, I put down the hose and went out front. Then I walked down the street toward the busy street, and still I hear nothing. So, I thought that I had imagined the crash and headed back home. As I got to my driveway, I felt the static chill all over my body and I froze. I couldn’t move. Then I heard a girl’s voice as plain as day … “I died in a car crash.” Jess was standing there, pointing towards the toll road. I about passed out right there. My body unfroze and I went and sat on the porch. What came to mind right away was all the nights I would see her standing at the end of my bed pointing to the left … she was pointing at the toll road.

I then went inside, got on my computer, and looked up “young girl killed in car crash on 241 toll road.” What came up next was like a punch in the gut. There was her face, alive and beautiful. The car crash was horrific, and I realized which accident it was. It was all over the news when it happened. Not only was the crash the most horrifying scene, it was handled very poorly, and there was a lot of legal action after. I personally refused to look at the terrible pictures that were circulating all over the internet at that time. But, now I could feel Jess standing over me and I could hear her yelling at me to look at the images. I cried and begged her no, but she kept saying, “I need you to see!”

What I saw next made me scream and cry like I had never done before. I was crying so loud and hard, that I was choking. This poor girl, and her poor family!!! I just could not even imagine the pain. Jess then said to me, “I need you to tell my dad something.” I told her that I would try, but I needed to do more research.

I was still crying when my boys and my husband came home. I told them what happened and what has been happening. My older son tells me that his girlfriend used to live next door to the family when Jess was killed. So I asked him to call her and ask her if she could come over to talk to me.

My son’s girlfriend, I will call her Ally, came over and I told her the whole story. And here is where all the signs Jess had been showing me became clear. Ally said she used to live next door to Jess and their fathers are really good friends. I asked her where she used to live and she told me. I couldn’t believe it….. When Jess first started to come to me, is when I changed my walking route, and by changing my route I would walk past Jesses’s (I looked up how to write Jess in plural form and that’s what the internet says) home every time I walked. Then I wanted to know exactly where on the toll road the accident happened. Ally told me where, and I figured out that when I worked that temp job, I could see where Jess died from the windows of the building. My belief is, and this is after doing research, that when someone dies tragically, some are stuck in their death state, and looking for help. I think she sensed that I had the ability to help her.

Ally then told me the events that led to Jesses’s death. (I am not going to give those details, that is her families private business) I also learned that Jess had a drug problem, and had tried to stop doing drugs several times. That explained the agitation and fogginess that her energy was transferring to me. I then asked Ally if Jesses’s father would talk to me. I explained that Jess can not rest until her father gets this message. Ally said she would talk to her dad and let me know.

I was feeling good!! I was feeling back to normal….if I have a normal?? I could sense that Jesses’s energy was calm too. I was so close to helping her and that meant the world to me. Then Ally called…. Her dad said he did not think Jesses’s father or family was ready to hear what I had to say. I was so sad for Jess. So I asked Ally to give her father the message and when he thinks his friend is ready, tell him, and he can always contact me.

The Message: I am so sorry Daddy. I know all you were trying to do was help and I was to stubborn to listen. I was not in control of my drug problem and I wouldn’t admit it. I am sorry I stormed out of the house and took your car, and I am sorry that the pictures of how I died will be in your mind forever. I take full responsibility for my actions. There is nothing you could have done differently to save me, and I hope you can forgive me. I love you Daddy.

Ally said she would pass it on. I felt horrible that I couldn’t give Jess complete closure, but she understood. I have not seen her since and I have not heard from the family.

Jess was my teacher. Jess was my kick in the butt to stop ignoring that I have a gift. Jess was my strength when it came to helping other spirits. I became stronger and learned how to separate a spirits feelings from my own. I will always be grateful and I will never forget, The Girl.



Miguel Who?

El Adobe Mexican Restaurant is located in downtown San Juan Capistrano. It has the reputation of being one of the most haunted locations in San Juan. Also, its known for its good food and margaritas. I have had a few paranormal experiences there, but the one I am writing about today did not start at El Adobe, it started at a restaurant called Rok Prime, which was also located in San Juan.

My husband and I used to love to come and hang out at Rok Prime and have dinner there. Over time I became friends with the manger R, and she kept telling me about all the activity they were experiencing there. I told her I would do a walk through when no one was there and see what I pick up.

We arranged a meeting when the restaurant was closed. During the walk through I picked up on a male spirit and he showed me where he liked to hang out. So I went to the booth he said and asked R if they had experienced any activity at that certain booth. She couldn’t believe it. That booth and the area around it, is where most of the employees have had their experiences. So, R wanted to know why he was there.

The male spirit told me that his name was Miguel, and he lived in San Juan a long time ago. He was attracted to that location only because he knew R’s family that had lived in San Juan for generations and he felt protective of her. Then he mentioned the name Rosa. R began to cry, that was her great grandmother. He said he knew her.

I would feel Miguel’s presence several more times when I went to Rok Prime to eat and hang out. He was just there enjoying the activity and watching over R. I only had an issue with Miguel once and I did have to ask him to back off. We were at the bar meeting friends for my birthday and I could feel his presence and he was being pushy. So when this happens in a busy place, I will go outside and walk around and figure out what they want or ask them to please move on. In this situation, Miguel kept telling me that he was worried about R. I had seen R earlier and she seemed fine to me. He was agitated and making me agitated, so I went to find R and she was not at the restaurant.

I went back into the bar and sat next to my husband, and my hubby asked if I took care of it, and as I went to tell him, we both heard a man yell my name right between us. It was Miguel, and my hubby was pissed, he didn’t like that this spirit yelled at me. Also, he didn’t like that he could hear it. He was fully creeped out. So I left the bar again and had a long talk with Miguel about boundaries. I did not hear or feel Miguel at Rok Prime again…… but he would return, but this time at El Adobe.                                                              (I did find out later that there was something going on with R and that is why she went home early from work….Miguel was right)

Time went by, and Roc Prime closed. We moved and I started my own business. I did a few more investigative readings around San Juan, and man the town of San Juan has a lot of spirit activity.

One of our favorite things to do in San Juan is to take the train to Del Mar for the horse races. We like to try and get a big group together, meet in town, then hop on the train for a day of fun at the races. And at the end of the day when the train drops us off we go to a local restaurant and eat. This particular time, the group decided to go to El Adobe for dinner. At this point its been a long day of fun and drinking, so I am exhausted, which makes my boundaries with the spirit world weak.

We get seated at a long table at El Adobe and order our food. Then I can feel it, the static chills on my right side, then I feel an ice cold wind swirling around my feet. My girl friend that is sitting across from me, about comes out of her chair. She tells me that she can feel an ice cold wind swirling under the table. Then I become fully engulfed in ice cold air, and I can feel 5 people standing behind me. It is an over load of energy and I feel frazzled. There are people at the table that do not know I communicate with spirits and my husband can tell right away by my body language that something is happening.

At this point I have to calm myself, because the energy is so strong, so I excuse myself from the table and head towards the front door. It was like I had legs made out of heavy metal. I had to walk slow and on purpose, which means, I had to focus on every step. (I probably looked drunk) When I got outside, I figured out it was Miguel and he had his family with him. He was excited and wanted me to meet them. I asked him why he was there with his family, and he said that they used to live there. I told Miguel that I would love to meet his family, but then they had to go, their energy was kicking my butt. I could feel the love he had for them and how proud he was to show them off. After meeting them, Miguel and his family disappeared.  As I went to walk back into the restaurant, I noticed a metal placard on the brick post by the door that said, “Miguel Yorba Adobe”. I had never seen this placard before, and was I relieved that I had some kind of explanation. Or what I call validation.

I went back in the restaurant and all was calm and I felt I had some closure with Miguel’s spirit. Who knows, he may show up again??





Something New

I have interactions with spirits all the time. They are short and sweet, but not forgotten. That is why I am going to start writing about the little encounters that happen. Also, it gives me a fun break from writing the longer more detailed encounters that I experience. Every encounter I have with a spirit is meaningful to me, and I want to share more of what normal is to me. What I mean by that is that I see and feel spirits all the time. That is my normal. I do know how to protect myself and how to block things out, but its just a part of my everyday life. Also, every situation and encounter is different.

My safe place and my sanctuary is my home. I do not do readings at my home, and if I feel that a person has come into my home with any sort of negative juju, I cleanse. I tease that my home is always on “lock down” from spirits. Not that the spirits always listen, but I have the tools to protect myself and my family.

So, please enjoy the little but important stories of spirits just doing their thing and me loving the chance to share my experiences….Big or small.

An Unexpected Message

Even though I am a medium, I love to see a medium live on stage and I love to take my friends. I appreciate how we all get our information from spirits differently. One of my favorite mediums is Cindy Caza. I have seen her in Irvine 3 times. Back in May, I planned a girl’s night out to go see Cindy with about 20 ladies and a lot of them got amazing messages. Two of my dear girlfriends could not make it that night, so when Cindy came back to town a few weeks ago, the three of us decided last minute to go.

But, my adventure started before I met the ladies. I wasn’t meeting M and R until 6:30, so I went to dinner with my husband. We met at Cedar Creek in San Juan Capistrano. We love that restaurant, and they have a great happy hour. We sat in the bar area and it was crowded. Then I could feel it … the static electricity feeling up my right side. When I am in public and this happens, I start looking all over the place. It’s like all of a sudden I have a very keen sense of my surroundings. My husband can tell instantly when I have a visitor. He always asks, “Does the person belong to someone here?” This time I got the feeling they did not. I could tell that the spirit was a short man with brown hair, but I could not tell his age. He actually reminded me of a friend of my husbands. So I asked him when was the last time he talked to “F,” and he said he just got off the phone with him. That was a relief.

So, I left to meet M and R, with the unknown short man with brown hair. We met near the Irvine Spectrum, then got into my car. When we got to the Spectrum, we had some time before the show, so we went to Cucina Enoteca for a drink and snacks. This spirit was still with me. I couldn’t tell if I was anxious because I always get anxious going to see a medium, or because I can sense all the energy in the room and sometimes it is uncomfortable. Or, was I anxious because of this man’s spirit that was with me? Also, I forgot my quartz crystal, that usually keeps me calm and focused in that kind of situation.

When we got to the Improv for the show, I had to focus and detach myself from the environment. Just get myself to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. The show was amazing. Cindy is amazing. It seems every time I see her, she gets better, or maybe the spirits are more communicative. Neither of my friends got a message, but they enjoyed watching Cindy do her thing.

On our way back to drop my friends off at their car, I could still sense the spirit of the short man. My friends were discussing what personal items they brought with them to the show, hoping to get a message from their loved ones. Then all of a sudden, I had the worst pain on the right side of my head. It went from behind my eye to my ear. So I asked the ladies if either of the people they were wanting a message from died of a brain tumor? M said yes. I then told her not to tell me anything else until we parked, because I’ve had a spirit with me all night and now I know he belongs to her.

I could not park my car fast enough. This man’s spirit was eager and active. I asked M to give me the picture of who she wanted to hear from, but to give it to me upside down. First, she handed me a paper copy of a picture and I said “No, I need an original picture.” She handed me the other picture, which I held between my hands. Now the energy was just pouring out of my hands and I could see this man perfectly. He told me that he was M’s father. I told M. Then I felt really sick. I felt like my esophagus to my stomach was rotten and it was making me gag. Also, I was still having the horrible pain on the right side of my head. The taste in my mouth and the sour feeling in my stomach was horrible. M then explained that because of her father’s brain tumor (glioblastoma), it caused him to have throat and stomach problems (Giardiasis).

Now I could see M’s father standing in front of my car. I asked him why he was out there and not in the car with us and he was so funny, he said, “There is no room for me in there.” He has what sounded like a thick New Jersey accent, and he was talking with his hands and arms. Very animated. I asked M if he is from New Jersey and she said he was. Then I described him to her:  He is short, with brown hair that is balding down the middle. He is wearing slacks, loafers, a button-up shirt, and a tan cardigan. He wants me to picture him younger than what he was in the picture I am holding upside down. I asked M how tall he was, because he looks like maybe 5’6″. She said he was 5’5″.

He is a character. Larger than life. Out spoken and out going. He keeps telling me that he is really smart. Not just smart, but really smart. I tell M this and she said he was a doctor. Which I already knew, so that is why he kept making sure I knew how smart he was. Then he said to me that he needed to talk about his death. I asked M if she was ok with that and she said she needed some answers. Then he was about to tell me his name when M tells me it at the same time. I will call him C.

C then has me standing in his hospital room before he died. I am standing at the end of his bed looking at him, but he won’t let me see his face. Then he puts me in his spot, laying in the bed looking up at his family surrounding the bed. I can see M to my right, then her sister, then her brother, then on the left side of the bed, I can see her other sister, and then her mom is holding my left hand. (I am assuming these are M’s siblings.) I feel like I have been waiting for one of my children to get there, and now everyone is there and around my bed. He kept repeating that his wife was holding his left hand. I told M all of this and she said that is exactly what happened, and it was all her siblings, and her one sister finally got there to be with their father before he passed.

C then has me look past his family that are around his bed and I can see three people standing there. They are spirits. His says that they are his father, mother, and his brother, and they were waiting for him to take him to heaven. Then in a snap, he shows me that he is alone in his room and his soul gets up off the bed and goes with his parents and his brother. I tell M all this and she said that her family was not in the room when he passed. Her father then said to me, “I couldn’t go with you all watching me, I had to do it my way.” I told M and she said that sounds just like him.

C had one last message for M. He told me to tell M that the sister that takes after him or is most like him, needs to see a doctor. He says she needs to be concerned with her lower stomach area. M then tells me that her mother died of ovarian cancer. Well, her dad is concerned about her sister, so give her the message.

I finally turned over the picture that M gave me. It was this one:


I said that he did not show himself to me at that age. The picture at the beginning of this story is how he looked to me, standing out front of my car. I then asked M why she thought that he would not let me see his face when he was in the hospital bed. She said that his face was really bloated from all of the medications and he looked awful.

I was so happy to be able to give my dear friend some closure and to connect her with her father. I am also appreciative that she and her father trusted me with such an important message. Also, I loved the excitement from our girlfriend (in the back seat) that got to listen and watch me do my thing. You can explain your gift to someone, but it is more powerful when you get to see it in person. I always am high on life after a message. I truly believe it is what I am meant to do … help people.

Sorry … had to take a little break.

I did not forget about posting, I promise. Life has been crazy for me lately, I know you know how that is. October through December are over the top busy months for me. On top of being busy, I have been sick the entire month of October, but really sick the last few weeks. I just didn’t have it in me to get a post together. It takes me awhile to write one post, because I want all the details correct and for it to be easy to understand. I did however, when I was feeling good, have some amazing readings that I can not wait to write about.

Until then, Please don’t give up on me, I have more to come.