Love, Death, & A Reading Gone Bad

I always learn from every reading or spiritual encounter I have. This particular reading  taught me that not all readings go smoothly, and sometimes validation may take awhile to present itself.

A friend of mine, L, asked me if I would help a friend of hers, D, who was dealing with the death of her boyfriend. L said her friend was not doing very well, which is to be expected, but the circumstances were unique, and D really needed to see if she could get any answers.

So without too much information, I went to see D. I did know that her boyfriend had just died, but I did not know how. When I arrived at her condo, I felt a chill. When I got inside, it was worse. The energy was cold and still, the only way to describe it is, “morgue like”. D introduced herself, and I liked her right away. Other than the depression around her, I could sense that she had good energy. I was definitely not comfortable in her home, besides being cold the energy was heavy, so I asked her if I could cleanse with sage before I started the reading. I only stayed in the nook and family room. I did not go into the kitchen or the upstairs. Which, now I know was a huge mistake! I always walk through the entire home before I do a reading, but I wasn’t thinking straight, and I thought cleansing was going to help with how uncomfortable I was.

After I was done cleansing, I sat with D in the family room and asked her a few questions. That is when I learned that her boyfriend died in that condo not even a week before. Are you flipping kidding me??? That explained why I felt so uncomfortable. Now I was starting to feel sick and my chest was starting to hurt. Not only did I have a death grip on my crystal, I had to put on my tourmaline necklace for protection so I could focus. Also, D’s energy was getting anxious and I was picking up on her sadness and her desperation to get a message from her boyfriend. I then asked her if he died of a heart attack. She said he did. He died at home in their bed next to her, then she revived him and called 911, and then the paramedics got him to the hospital where he died again and they revived him, then he died again, but they could not revive him. How awful!!!

I should of left!! A little voice inside my head kept saying, “Leave now! Reschedule! It’s to soon!” But, I felt for D and her desire to have some kind of message. I wanted to help her.  Then the chills up my right side started. I had to get up and walk. ( I like to walk around when I am getting a message) I can feel a spirit standing next to me and then I see him. Remember I have no idea what D’s boyfriend looks like, there are no pictures up (at my request before I come) and she did not describe him to me.

So, I tell D that there is a man standing next to me. He is wearing some kind of sports jersey, and he is big, and before I can say anything else she cuts me off and says, “NO, NO, NO, that is not him!” I tell her he is saying it is him. She just keeps insisting that it is not. I then say that he is saying something about Disneyland. She still insists that it is not him and she starts getting mad at me.

I thought I had a hitchhiker, but he kept insisting that he was D’s boyfriend. I had to ask him to leave, they were both starting to make me mad. He stood his ground for a few seconds and I could feel his despair and frustration. I then watched him sadly walk away through the glass slider doors.

I stopped the reading. Now I was completely exhausted and frustrated! I went to gather my stuff from the nook and I glanced into the kitchen. I stopped in my tracks. The kitchen counter was covered with open wine bottles and medication bottles. I turned to D and she could see the look on my face…..I wasn’t judging, I was in shock. I had to ask, “Are you taking meds and drinking wine to try and numb the pain? And did you numb yourself for this reading?” She said she did, and then she said that is how she has been getting through the days and nights since he passed. I told her that I could not even begin to know how she was feeling, but to be careful.

I wish I would have been more observant before the reading. Goes back to that I should of walked around the entire condo before doing the reading. Being impaired changes how a person interprets the message I am giving them. D was obsessed with hearing only what she wanted, that the moment something did not make sense to her, she shut down. She wasn’t hearing it.

When I got to my car I burst into tears. I also texted my friend L and said that the reading did not go well and to please make sure that D has friends checking on her. She really shouldn’t be alone, or at least let her know that she has friends to talk to. I then drove home crying. I cried for many reasons, but the biggest was I felt like I failed D. But, I really felt that I did connect with D’s boyfriend. Sadness and frustration overwhelmed me.

That night, the same man that I had communicated with at D’s home came to me in a dream. It was the most vivid real dream: I am at a beautiful home in the mountains. The décor and lay out of the home is very clear. There is a huge long kitchen with all glass doors going down the right side of the room and the view is of a beautiful forest. At the far end of the kitchen is a large rock fire place with a long wood table and chairs in front of it. All cozy and rustic. I am standing in the room next to the long kitchen. It looks like a large family room and behind me is the hallway to the bedrooms. I am standing next to the couch near the hallway and across the room is a large TV. I am looking around taking in everything around me, then the man I communicated with at D’s is standing in front of the large TV. He is not alone.

The man has a younger male standing next to him and behind him is a female and another male. He tells me that the male next to him is his son, his only son, and he is still alive. He doesn’t tell me who the other two people are. Then all four of them look towards the kitchen. I look in the kitchen and there is D happily cooking. Then when I look back at them, they are all pointing to a vent up on the wall that is to the left of me. Then the man says, “She has to know it’s in there”….. “Tell her!”

I instantly wake up. What the heck was that? Now I was more frustrated and upset! I know this man is D’s boyfriend. It had to be.

I did not call D and tell her about my dream. I figured after what happened the night before at her condo, she wasn’t going to listen. I decided to let L be the judge of when I should tell D about my dream. The truth is that I just wanted to move on and forget the whole thing…but that wasn’t going to happen!

Months went by and because of what happened with D, I decided to take a break from my gift. No more readings or investigations for awhile. I look back now and hate that I let one bad experience get to me so deeply. I lost trust in myself to read anyone. I was second guessing myself.

A few more months went by and my friend L came over to my house. I asked her how D was doing and I was happy to hear that she was doing great. She has her moments which is to be expected, but surviving like the strong woman I knew she was. I then told L that I have not read anyone or done any investigations since I read D. She felt bad for referring me to D. I told her I still believe that I was communicating with D’s boyfriend. Then my friend said something to me that changed everything. She said, “How could it have been him, you said the man that was there was tall.” I froze, then I felt light headed.

I told my friend what I said. I never used the word tall. I said “big”, like he had wide shoulders….husky. I never described his height because D automatically started saying, “NO! NO! NO!, that’s the wrong guy.” She wouldn’t let up, she kept repeating herself. Then I described the man who I saw to L: He was short and stalky. He had brown hair and a brown goatee. Also, he was wearing a sports jersey.

After describing him to L, I asked her if she by some chance could get a picture of D’s boyfriend. Why have I not thought of this before????? L said she is friends with D on Face Book and she would she if she could find one. While she was looking for a picture, I told her that the man also mentioned Disneyland, but D shut that down right away too. That got L’s attention. She then tells me that D’s boyfriend’s only son lives close to Disneyland. Which made sense. Sometimes when spirits communicate with me they give references or symbols that I can relate to, (I love Disneyland and have an annual pass), so that it may help me get a message clearer or communicate a message clearer. The man also made sure he told me in my dream that the young male with him was his only son.

L found a picture. When she showed it to me, I burst into tears. It was the same man I communicated with at D’s condo. I was not losing my gift or my mind. Then I started to dance around like a crazy person (my running man sucks, but I didn’t care). I know it sounds odd that I was dancing and crying, but it was all out of pure joy. I was so relieved!! A HUGE weight had been lifted off my heart and mind. Months of mental crap I put myself through, gone. I was validated! I was free!!

I decided to call D and I told her everything. I even told her about the dream, which she did not understand what her boyfriend was trying to tell me. She felt terrible for what happened that night, but I told her not to think twice about it, I was just so happy she is  doing better and moving forward with her life. She did ask me to do another reading. I declined and said that I needed sometime to reconnect to my gift that I had been neglecting.

D’s Story:  D met her boyfriend online 9 months before his passing. She had never been truly in love and they fell head over heals for each other at first sight. Shortly after, he moved in with her, and upon him moving in, they started talking marriage. They proclaimed themselves soulmates and they were together everyday from the day they met. D says those 9 months were the best of life. A fairytale come true. It didn’t matter that it was only 9 months, it was a life time of love, and she is grateful everyday for the short time she got to have him in her life.












Miguel Who?

El Adobe Mexican Restaurant is located in downtown San Juan Capistrano. It has the reputation of being one of the most haunted locations in San Juan. Also, its known for its good food and margaritas. I have had a few paranormal experiences there, but the one I am writing about today did not start at El Adobe, it started at a restaurant called Rok Prime, which was also located in San Juan.

My husband and I used to love to come and hang out at Rok Prime and have dinner there. Over time I became friends with the manger R, and she kept telling me about all the activity they were experiencing there. I told her I would do a walk through when no one was there and see what I pick up.

We arranged a meeting when the restaurant was closed. During the walk through I picked up on a male spirit and he showed me where he liked to hang out. So I went to the booth he said and asked R if they had experienced any activity at that certain booth. She couldn’t believe it. That booth and the area around it, is where most of the employees have had their experiences. So, R wanted to know why he was there.

The male spirit told me that his name was Miguel, and he lived in San Juan a long time ago. He was attracted to that location only because he knew R’s family that had lived in San Juan for generations and he felt protective of her. Then he mentioned the name Rosa. R began to cry, that was her great grandmother. He said he knew her.

I would feel Miguel’s presence several more times when I went to Rok Prime to eat and hang out. He was just there enjoying the activity and watching over R. I only had an issue with Miguel once and I did have to ask him to back off. We were at the bar meeting friends for my birthday and I could feel his presence and he was being pushy. So when this happens in a busy place, I will go outside and walk around and figure out what they want or ask them to please move on. In this situation, Miguel kept telling me that he was worried about R. I had seen R earlier and she seemed fine to me. He was agitated and making me agitated, so I went to find R and she was not at the restaurant.

I went back into the bar and sat next to my husband, and my hubby asked if I took care of it, and as I went to tell him, we both heard a man yell my name right between us. It was Miguel, and my hubby was pissed, he didn’t like that this spirit yelled at me. Also, he didn’t like that he could hear it. He was fully creeped out. So I left the bar again and had a long talk with Miguel about boundaries. I did not hear or feel Miguel at Rok Prime again…… but he would return, but this time at El Adobe.                                                              (I did find out later that there was something going on with R and that is why she went home early from work….Miguel was right)

Time went by, and Roc Prime closed. We moved and I started my own business. I did a few more investigative readings around San Juan, and man the town of San Juan has a lot of spirit activity.

One of our favorite things to do in San Juan is to take the train to Del Mar for the horse races. We like to try and get a big group together, meet in town, then hop on the train for a day of fun at the races. And at the end of the day when the train drops us off we go to a local restaurant and eat. This particular time, the group decided to go to El Adobe for dinner. At this point its been a long day of fun and drinking, so I am exhausted, which makes my boundaries with the spirit world weak.

We get seated at a long table at El Adobe and order our food. Then I can feel it, the static chills on my right side, then I feel an ice cold wind swirling around my feet. My girl friend that is sitting across from me, about comes out of her chair. She tells me that she can feel an ice cold wind swirling under the table. Then I become fully engulfed in ice cold air, and I can feel 5 people standing behind me. It is an over load of energy and I feel frazzled. There are people at the table that do not know I communicate with spirits and my husband can tell right away by my body language that something is happening.

At this point I have to calm myself, because the energy is so strong, so I excuse myself from the table and head towards the front door. It was like I had legs made out of heavy metal. I had to walk slow and on purpose, which means, I had to focus on every step. (I probably looked drunk) When I got outside, I figured out it was Miguel and he had his family with him. He was excited and wanted me to meet them. I asked him why he was there with his family, and he said that they used to live there. I told Miguel that I would love to meet his family, but then they had to go, their energy was kicking my butt. I could feel the love he had for them and how proud he was to show them off. After meeting them, Miguel and his family disappeared.  As I went to walk back into the restaurant, I noticed a metal placard on the brick post by the door that said, “Miguel Yorba Adobe”. I had never seen this placard before, and was I relieved that I had some kind of explanation. Or what I call validation.

I went back in the restaurant and all was calm and I felt I had some closure with Miguel’s spirit. Who knows, he may show up again??

An Unexpected Message

Even though I am a medium, I love to see a medium live on stage and I love to take my friends. I appreciate how we all get our information from spirits differently. One of my favorite mediums is Cindy Caza. I have seen her in Irvine 3 times. Back in May, I planned a girl’s night out to go see Cindy with about 20 ladies and a lot of them got amazing messages. Two of my dear girlfriends could not make it that night, so when Cindy came back to town a few weeks ago, the three of us decided last minute to go.

But, my adventure started before I met the ladies. I wasn’t meeting M and R until 6:30, so I went to dinner with my husband. We met at Cedar Creek in San Juan Capistrano. We love that restaurant, and they have a great happy hour. We sat in the bar area and it was crowded. Then I could feel it … the static electricity feeling up my right side. When I am in public and this happens, I start looking all over the place. It’s like all of a sudden I have a very keen sense of my surroundings. My husband can tell instantly when I have a visitor. He always asks, “Does the person belong to someone here?” This time I got the feeling they did not. I could tell that the spirit was a short man with brown hair, but I could not tell his age. He actually reminded me of a friend of my husbands. So I asked him when was the last time he talked to “F,” and he said he just got off the phone with him. That was a relief.

So, I left to meet M and R, with the unknown short man with brown hair. We met near the Irvine Spectrum, then got into my car. When we got to the Spectrum, we had some time before the show, so we went to Cucina Enoteca for a drink and snacks. This spirit was still with me. I couldn’t tell if I was anxious because I always get anxious going to see a medium, or because I can sense all the energy in the room and sometimes it is uncomfortable. Or, was I anxious because of this man’s spirit that was with me? Also, I forgot my quartz crystal, that usually keeps me calm and focused in that kind of situation.

When we got to the Improv for the show, I had to focus and detach myself from the environment. Just get myself to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. The show was amazing. Cindy is amazing. It seems every time I see her, she gets better, or maybe the spirits are more communicative. Neither of my friends got a message, but they enjoyed watching Cindy do her thing.

On our way back to drop my friends off at their car, I could still sense the spirit of the short man. My friends were discussing what personal items they brought with them to the show, hoping to get a message from their loved ones. Then all of a sudden, I had the worst pain on the right side of my head. It went from behind my eye to my ear. So I asked the ladies if either of the people they were wanting a message from died of a brain tumor? M said yes. I then told her not to tell me anything else until we parked, because I’ve had a spirit with me all night and now I know he belongs to her.

I could not park my car fast enough. This man’s spirit was eager and active. I asked M to give me the picture of who she wanted to hear from, but to give it to me upside down. First, she handed me a paper copy of a picture and I said “No, I need an original picture.” She handed me the other picture, which I held between my hands. Now the energy was just pouring out of my hands and I could see this man perfectly. He told me that he was M’s father. I told M. Then I felt really sick. I felt like my esophagus to my stomach was rotten and it was making me gag. Also, I was still having the horrible pain on the right side of my head. The taste in my mouth and the sour feeling in my stomach was horrible. M then explained that because of her father’s brain tumor (glioblastoma), it caused him to have throat and stomach problems (Giardiasis).

Now I could see M’s father standing in front of my car. I asked him why he was out there and not in the car with us and he was so funny, he said, “There is no room for me in there.” He has what sounded like a thick New Jersey accent, and he was talking with his hands and arms. Very animated. I asked M if he is from New Jersey and she said he was. Then I described him to her:  He is short, with brown hair that is balding down the middle. He is wearing slacks, loafers, a button-up shirt, and a tan cardigan. He wants me to picture him younger than what he was in the picture I am holding upside down. I asked M how tall he was, because he looks like maybe 5’6″. She said he was 5’5″.

He is a character. Larger than life. Out spoken and out going. He keeps telling me that he is really smart. Not just smart, but really smart. I tell M this and she said he was a doctor. Which I already knew, so that is why he kept making sure I knew how smart he was. Then he said to me that he needed to talk about his death. I asked M if she was ok with that and she said she needed some answers. Then he was about to tell me his name when M tells me it at the same time. I will call him C.

C then has me standing in his hospital room before he died. I am standing at the end of his bed looking at him, but he won’t let me see his face. Then he puts me in his spot, laying in the bed looking up at his family surrounding the bed. I can see M to my right, then her sister, then her brother, then on the left side of the bed, I can see her other sister, and then her mom is holding my left hand. (I am assuming these are M’s siblings.) I feel like I have been waiting for one of my children to get there, and now everyone is there and around my bed. He kept repeating that his wife was holding his left hand. I told M all of this and she said that is exactly what happened, and it was all her siblings, and her one sister finally got there to be with their father before he passed.

C then has me look past his family that are around his bed and I can see three people standing there. They are spirits. His says that they are his father, mother, and his brother, and they were waiting for him to take him to heaven. Then in a snap, he shows me that he is alone in his room and his soul gets up off the bed and goes with his parents and his brother. I tell M all this and she said that her family was not in the room when he passed. Her father then said to me, “I couldn’t go with you all watching me, I had to do it my way.” I told M and she said that sounds just like him.

C had one last message for M. He told me to tell M that the sister that takes after him or is most like him, needs to see a doctor. He says she needs to be concerned with her lower stomach area. M then tells me that her mother died of ovarian cancer. Well, her dad is concerned about her sister, so give her the message.

I finally turned over the picture that M gave me. It was this one:


I said that he did not show himself to me at that age. The picture at the beginning of this story is how he looked to me, standing out front of my car. I then asked M why she thought that he would not let me see his face when he was in the hospital bed. She said that his face was really bloated from all of the medications and he looked awful.

I was so happy to be able to give my dear friend some closure and to connect her with her father. I am also appreciative that she and her father trusted me with such an important message. Also, I loved the excitement from our girlfriend (in the back seat) that got to listen and watch me do my thing. You can explain your gift to someone, but it is more powerful when you get to see it in person. I always am high on life after a message. I truly believe it is what I am meant to do … help people.

The Bridge

My husband and I are lucky to have many wonderful friends in our life. One of our dearest couple friends is D & B. They have always been so supportive of my gift and so open to hearing my experiences. Because of how open they are, it is easy for me to read them. It’s not like I try, but their loved ones are always around them. When we get together for dinner, D always brings up one of the most memorable readings I did for him, and how shocked he was to get a message from someone he looked up to when he was a child.

When we meet with D & B, we usually meet for drinks then go to dinner. This particular night, we went for Sushi. We love Niko Niko in Rancho Santa Margarita. We do the usual catch up on what’s happening in each other’s lives. Then D says he has a question about a dream he had when he was a little boy, and it has always bothered him. I said tell me about the dream and I will try to help you figure it out.

When D was a little boy his neighbor died and D really looked up to this man. This man’s death really had an impact on D. Then he said he had a dream and his neighbor was standing with him on a bridge. As D is telling me this, I can feel the static chill on the right side of my body and then I see a man standing next to me. I ask D to stop talking for a second because I had a male spirit with me who was eager to give him a message. Then in a flash, this spirit showed me the dream. He put me on the bridge with him and D as a little boy.

I said to D, this is what he is showing me: I am on the bridge, you are a small blonde boy, the man is standing there next to you. He is wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. What he is wearing is important because that is how you used to see him all the time. Working on his car in his garage, with dirty clothes, and messy dark hair. D then says, that is exactly how he saw him. Then the man says to me, “I came to him in his dream because I know my death was affecting him and he had a hard time at the wake seeing me in a suit and tie, and my hair combed nice.” And then he told me his name was James.

I tell D everything that the man is saying and he can’t believe it. D always wondered why James came to him, since James had a family of his own, and he was just the kid next door. Now he knows. James came to him to try and give D closure, which is hard to understand for a small child, but now he has his closure all of these years later.

This was an amazing experience for me. It was the first time I had been “transported” spiritually to a place and time, to help a spirit with his message. I am always learning and I am amazed at how strong my abilities are. It also gives me a sense of pride to help a dear friend.


Have you ever picked up an object and gotten the chills? Or, felt electric static go though your hand? Could you feel the energy coming from the object? I can. And I learned that I could do this when I went to my friend who is a wiccan for advice. I wanted help in centering myself and making my mind clearer. She suggested holding a stone or wearing one around my neck. I kind of laughed at her. Rocks were going to help me? … Right! For the heck of it, I took her advice and started holding the stones she suggested. Held the first one … nothing. The second one … the same. Then I picked up my quartz crystal and it happened … I felt its energy. I felt its power. I became anxious at first, but then calm and clear. What a revelation!!! This stone is now my seeing eye, my clarity, my focus, and my “super” hearing. It is also my protection. If I feel like I am going into an uncomfortable situation, my crystal is either in my hand or pocket.

If I could get all that from a stone, could I read other objects? Pick up their energy, or their story? This story is about doing just that. A small ring that told me a story about many generations of strong women.

There are people that you cross paths with that make a lasting impression. That you have a unique bond with. When I was married to my ex-husband, we lived in a cute little cul-de-sac in south Orange County. That is where I met D. We have always had a special bond. Then life happens. You move, get divorced, kids grow up … Then recently, we reconnected. She knew I was a sensitive, but I finally shared with her that I am a medium. A couple months ago, she came to me and asked me for a favor, and I said of course anything she needed. She then took a ring off her finger and put it in my hand.

I hope I do justice to this part of the story. It is one of the most amazing readings I have done to date. When I closed my fingers over that ring, I could see women all around me and I could feel pure love and strength. It became crowded and overwhelming and a little panic swept in so I had to ask them to back off. Then one woman came through and told them all to get back, she would do the talking. She had two other women with her. At first, they were showing me what looked like a long blue line with two female figures at the far end of the blue line. Then the first woman who had come to me clearly said she was D’s grandmother. The other two women were D’s great grandmother and her great grandmother’s sister, who had never met D. All three ladies were so happy and giddy that they were getting a chance to communicate with D. They all looked alike too. I described them to D and she said I was spot on from pictures she had seen. They kept showing me D’s great grandmother dancing around and jumping up and down. And they kept saying, “Look what she can do now!” D then explained to me that her great grandmother was paralyzed when she died. They wanted me to tell D and have D tell her mother that she was doing great and had full mobility.

These women were very strong personalities and very protective of D. They wanted me to tell her that they are always with her. A lot of female power around her. I asked D why they kept showing me blue then two female figures. I told her it was some kind of symbol. D said that her grandmother lived in the United States, but her great grandmother and her great grandmother’s sister lived in England. D never met them, and the ring originally came from there. Then after going over the whole reading with D, we figured out why there were so many women around me when I first held the ring. Her grandmother had 9 sisters. That’s a lot of generations of female energy in one little ring. What a great family gift and great female power to pass on to her daughter.

I love that I could give my dear friend such a wonderful message from generations of women in her family. Last time I saw D, she thanked me again and again and expressed how much it meant to her to hear from her relatives. That is why I am trying to embrace and share my gift more. It gives me such peace and love to help people get a message from their loved ones. And D … you deserve all the peace, love, and happiness in the world. Thanks for trusting me!