First, I want to say that I have missed writing my true stories. Second, I want to say that the truth is…..I lost my desire to write. So I made this vision board of stories I have yet to write, and the pictures of angels who inspire me. These women represent to me that everyone has people in their life that have passed away to soon and/or their passing still causes heart ache. They represent to me that I have a gift and that I need to get back out there and share it. I absolutely love helping people get messages from their love ones!!!! The feeling it gives me to have someone connect with their loved one is so indescribable.
But, there has been a down side to talking to spirits. I told myself that I would not sit down for any readings until I could learn how to control what happens to me before and after. Let me explain. Like I have said in other posts, I am VERY empathic. So before a reading I get anxious, have weird dreams, and start picking up on any ailments that my clients have or their loved ones who have passed had. This is before I open myself up, so when I do open myself up, it is overwhelming sometimes. I probably should not drive myself to readings or investigations anymore. I usually have to pull over and start writing down all of the images that are flashing through my head. By the time I arrive, I have a page full of notes, and I am experiencing how these spirits died.
Then there is you, the client. It is normal to be anxious and sometimes scared that you are about to sit with a medium and possibly talk to your loved one. You are about to hear a message from someone that you care about, you miss, and a lot of times, hoping to get answers to help you understand what happened. And I want you to have the best experience possible, no matter what is said during the reading. Emotions are usually all over the spectrum. Then at the end of the reading, when you are calming down and feeling relieved…..I get the best feeling of joy in my heart and soul. It’s a high that I really can’t explain.
So, then I leave you feeling so many emotions. Most of all, happy that I could help you get answers, and grateful that your loved one trusted me to communicate for them. There have been instances where I have left a reading an emotional wreck. Couldn’t wait to get to my car so I could cry and sometimes scream. That happens usually after I sit with a parent who has lost a child. Those type of readings leave a residue on my soul. It’s hard to just go to the next reading. I don’t work like that. Each time I use my gift, it means something to me deep in my soul.
Next, I have to take the time to close myself off. Once I do that, I am exhausted and feel hung over for days. Doesn’t matter if the reading was emotional or not, it takes me time to recoup. That’s when I reflect. I go back to my notes from my last reading and really remember the details. I don’t always remember everything, so it helps if I take notes or record the reading. Sometimes my clients have what I call “homework”. What that means is that during your reading, you did not know what some of the messages meant, so you then need to go to your family or friends for help, and then get back to me. It is always shocking to me how spot on the information from spirits can be, and how they share certain images or information, so you really know its them. Things, that I could not possibly know. It’s their way of giving their loved ones validation that it is really them, and that I am not some crazy lady making stuff up. I am very grateful for that!!!!!
So….. that all being said, I have worked on controlling how talking to spirits affects me……and guess what….It is what it is! Meaning, every encounter is different. I have to take the good with the bad. It is much worse on me when I am not myself and hide my abilities. My soul needs to help people to feel alive. I can’t live without seeing the happiness on someones face when I give them a message from their loved one. It frustrates me when I have to hold in what I see and feel because someone “DOESN’T FEEL COMFORTABLE” with what I do. So, if you are a part of my life…..DON’T TALK ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK, please just tell me you don’t understand or it scares you. I get it, but you need to realize that, I am still me….I just hear and see things that most people don’t. I embrace my gift with all pure intentions and positive energy. It’s always out of love that I share messages.
OK…enough of the blah blah blah. My next post will be a true ghost encounter that shook some shit up in my home. The usual… stuff moving, hearing footsteps, shadow figures…good ole ghost haunting stuff.