Love, Death, & A Reading Gone Bad

I always learn from every reading or spiritual encounter I have. This particular reading  taught me that not all readings go smoothly, and sometimes validation may take awhile to present itself.

A friend of mine, L, asked me if I would help a friend of hers, D, who was dealing with the death of her boyfriend. L said her friend was not doing very well, which is to be expected, but the circumstances were unique, and D really needed to see if she could get any answers.

So without too much information, I went to see D. I did know that her boyfriend had just died, but I did not know how. When I arrived at her condo, I felt a chill. When I got inside, it was worse. The energy was cold and still, the only way to describe it is, “morgue like”. D introduced herself, and I liked her right away. Other than the depression around her, I could sense that she had good energy. I was definitely not comfortable in her home, besides being cold the energy was heavy, so I asked her if I could cleanse with sage before I started the reading. I only stayed in the nook and family room. I did not go into the kitchen or the upstairs. Which, now I know was a huge mistake! I always walk through the entire home before I do a reading, but I wasn’t thinking straight, and I thought cleansing was going to help with how uncomfortable I was.

After I was done cleansing, I sat with D in the family room and asked her a few questions. That is when I learned that her boyfriend died in that condo not even a week before. Are you flipping kidding me??? That explained why I felt so uncomfortable. Now I was starting to feel sick and my chest was starting to hurt. Not only did I have a death grip on my crystal, I had to put on my tourmaline necklace for protection so I could focus. Also, D’s energy was getting anxious and I was picking up on her sadness and her desperation to get a message from her boyfriend. I then asked her if he died of a heart attack. She said he did. He died at home in their bed next to her, then she revived him and called 911, and then the paramedics got him to the hospital where he died again and they revived him, then he died again, but they could not revive him. How awful!!!

I should of left!! A little voice inside my head kept saying, “Leave now! Reschedule! It’s to soon!” But, I felt for D and her desire to have some kind of message. I wanted to help her.  Then the chills up my right side started. I had to get up and walk. ( I like to walk around when I am getting a message) I can feel a spirit standing next to me and then I see him. Remember I have no idea what D’s boyfriend looks like, there are no pictures up (at my request before I come) and she did not describe him to me.

So, I tell D that there is a man standing next to me. He is wearing some kind of sports jersey, and he is big, and before I can say anything else she cuts me off and says, “NO, NO, NO, that is not him!” I tell her he is saying it is him. She just keeps insisting that it is not. I then say that he is saying something about Disneyland. She still insists that it is not him and she starts getting mad at me.

I thought I had a hitchhiker, but he kept insisting that he was D’s boyfriend. I had to ask him to leave, they were both starting to make me mad. He stood his ground for a few seconds and I could feel his despair and frustration. I then watched him sadly walk away through the glass slider doors.

I stopped the reading. Now I was completely exhausted and frustrated! I went to gather my stuff from the nook and I glanced into the kitchen. I stopped in my tracks. The kitchen counter was covered with open wine bottles and medication bottles. I turned to D and she could see the look on my face…..I wasn’t judging, I was in shock. I had to ask, “Are you taking meds and drinking wine to try and numb the pain? And did you numb yourself for this reading?” She said she did, and then she said that is how she has been getting through the days and nights since he passed. I told her that I could not even begin to know how she was feeling, but to be careful.

I wish I would have been more observant before the reading. Goes back to that I should of walked around the entire condo before doing the reading. Being impaired changes how a person interprets the message I am giving them. D was obsessed with hearing only what she wanted, that the moment something did not make sense to her, she shut down. She wasn’t hearing it.

When I got to my car I burst into tears. I also texted my friend L and said that the reading did not go well and to please make sure that D has friends checking on her. She really shouldn’t be alone, or at least let her know that she has friends to talk to. I then drove home crying. I cried for many reasons, but the biggest was I felt like I failed D. But, I really felt that I did connect with D’s boyfriend. Sadness and frustration overwhelmed me.

That night, the same man that I had communicated with at D’s home came to me in a dream. It was the most vivid real dream: I am at a beautiful home in the mountains. The décor and lay out of the home is very clear. There is a huge long kitchen with all glass doors going down the right side of the room and the view is of a beautiful forest. At the far end of the kitchen is a large rock fire place with a long wood table and chairs in front of it. All cozy and rustic. I am standing in the room next to the long kitchen. It looks like a large family room and behind me is the hallway to the bedrooms. I am standing next to the couch near the hallway and across the room is a large TV. I am looking around taking in everything around me, then the man I communicated with at D’s is standing in front of the large TV. He is not alone.

The man has a younger male standing next to him and behind him is a female and another male. He tells me that the male next to him is his son, his only son, and he is still alive. He doesn’t tell me who the other two people are. Then all four of them look towards the kitchen. I look in the kitchen and there is D happily cooking. Then when I look back at them, they are all pointing to a vent up on the wall that is to the left of me. Then the man says, “She has to know it’s in there”….. “Tell her!”

I instantly wake up. What the heck was that? Now I was more frustrated and upset! I know this man is D’s boyfriend. It had to be.

I did not call D and tell her about my dream. I figured after what happened the night before at her condo, she wasn’t going to listen. I decided to let L be the judge of when I should tell D about my dream. The truth is that I just wanted to move on and forget the whole thing…but that wasn’t going to happen!

Months went by and because of what happened with D, I decided to take a break from my gift. No more readings or investigations for awhile. I look back now and hate that I let one bad experience get to me so deeply. I lost trust in myself to read anyone. I was second guessing myself.

A few more months went by and my friend L came over to my house. I asked her how D was doing and I was happy to hear that she was doing great. She has her moments which is to be expected, but surviving like the strong woman I knew she was. I then told L that I have not read anyone or done any investigations since I read D. She felt bad for referring me to D. I told her I still believe that I was communicating with D’s boyfriend. Then my friend said something to me that changed everything. She said, “How could it have been him, you said the man that was there was tall.” I froze, then I felt light headed.

I told my friend what I said. I never used the word tall. I said “big”, like he had wide shoulders….husky. I never described his height because D automatically started saying, “NO! NO! NO!, that’s the wrong guy.” She wouldn’t let up, she kept repeating herself. Then I described the man who I saw to L: He was short and stalky. He had brown hair and a brown goatee. Also, he was wearing a sports jersey.

After describing him to L, I asked her if she by some chance could get a picture of D’s boyfriend. Why have I not thought of this before????? L said she is friends with D on Face Book and she would she if she could find one. While she was looking for a picture, I told her that the man also mentioned Disneyland, but D shut that down right away too. That got L’s attention. She then tells me that D’s boyfriend’s only son lives close to Disneyland. Which made sense. Sometimes when spirits communicate with me they give references or symbols that I can relate to, (I love Disneyland and have an annual pass), so that it may help me get a message clearer or communicate a message clearer. The man also made sure he told me in my dream that the young male with him was his only son.

L found a picture. When she showed it to me, I burst into tears. It was the same man I communicated with at D’s condo. I was not losing my gift or my mind. Then I started to dance around like a crazy person (my running man sucks, but I didn’t care). I know it sounds odd that I was dancing and crying, but it was all out of pure joy. I was so relieved!! A HUGE weight had been lifted off my heart and mind. Months of mental crap I put myself through, gone. I was validated! I was free!!

I decided to call D and I told her everything. I even told her about the dream, which she did not understand what her boyfriend was trying to tell me. She felt terrible for what happened that night, but I told her not to think twice about it, I was just so happy she is  doing better and moving forward with her life. She did ask me to do another reading. I declined and said that I needed sometime to reconnect to my gift that I had been neglecting.

D’s Story:  D met her boyfriend online 9 months before his passing. She had never been truly in love and they fell head over heals for each other at first sight. Shortly after, he moved in with her, and upon him moving in, they started talking marriage. They proclaimed themselves soulmates and they were together everyday from the day they met. D says those 9 months were the best of life. A fairytale come true. It didn’t matter that it was only 9 months, it was a life time of love, and she is grateful everyday for the short time she got to have him in her life.